If you're not really a pirate, who will I share this buried treasure with? Did you decide to skip arts and crafts? And the clock. I wouldn't sell you your gym back for all of King Midas' silver. ... son? ESPN 8. (chows down on the hot dog. Gordon: Umm guys, guys. Let this serve as a reminder of what's in store for anyone these petty tyrants label as "racist" should they cross their path. [All of the Girl Scout Troop 417 leaves, Bernice crying continues.]. A scene soon switches to White Goodman's living room. White Goodman: Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. [Eats a chicken thigh] Fuckin' Chuck Norris! "You gotta get angry! White Goodman: Meet Fran Stalinofskivitchdavitovichsky. Peter La Fleur: Hang on a second. Peter tells Owen that there's a right person for everyone. Their absence is noticeable. The cheerleading routine with Amber and Justin as well. So you can take your band of yellow-bellied losers and just crawl on outta here! David Wright is sounding like a desperate man these days. That's good, clean family fun right there. Which as of last night is Average Joe's Gym! Peter: I'm not sure where you're going with this. Peter to the Average Joe's crew often has good advice even though he is completely unmotivated. [Patches punches Gordon in the crotch and watches as he collapses] Patches: Cotton McKnight: I'm being told that Average Joe's does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match. Cotton McKnight: And the Average Joe's beat the Germans in a *shocking* upset. Peter: Everyone, smile big for the camera! We should date some time. "Whoa! Between the millions of gambling profit and the $50,000 prize money, Peter is able to invest in and gain control of Globo Gym which, as a publicly-owned company, White can do nothing about. I like to call that "the jackpot". But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here. White Goodman shows occasional signs of this, as does color commentator Pepper Brooks ("I sure do like pumpkins, Cotton!"). Joyce: I caught an earlier fIight, I wouldn't have miss this for the world! Quit now. White Goodman: This doesn't concern you, La Fleur. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal. I can't make you sell back my gym, so I'll just take your advice and invest in something. Thanks for your vote! Cotton: It appears that Average Joe's is forfeiting the final match. Where's your killer instinct? [Patches punches Gordon in the crotch and watches as he collapses] Patches O'Houlihan Right, kids? White Goodman: Thank you. Gordon comes off as the least developed member of the Average Joe's team (except perhaps Dwight), and he gets the smallest share of lines. Patches O'Houlihan: Learn the … Nobody's my boss! Dead. [The Casino Host opens up the treasure chest to reveal the $5 million Peter won off a long shot bet he made on Average Joe's to win.]. starts with White starring a Globo Gym ad on TV and Peter watching it and ends with Peter starring an Average Joe's Gym ad on TV and White watching it. Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance. Peter: You want to join the cheerleaders to prove to a girl that you are not a loser? when he ends up broke and obese after making a fortune running a gym. [Patches has everyone lined up to explain the strategies of dodgeball]. Notably, though, he's the one who tells the rest of the guys about the dodgeball tournament's cash prize (the rest of the characters had never even heard of competitive dodgeball before he brought it up), meaning that the movie's entire plot probably, This film surprisingly has a lot in common with the, Probably because the film was also the subject of. White Goodman: Yeah, you will take your chances. Directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber, the 2004 comedy Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story revolves around amiable underachiever Peter LaFleur (Vince Vaughn), who owns a rundown gym called "Average Joe's" with a less-than-average clientèle, including a self-styled pirate (Alan Tudyk), an ultra-obscure sports aficionado (Stephen Root), and a pining high-school Nerd (Justin Long). Owen: What are the chances on the same day right across the street? But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. and Bernice begins crying in a deep voice]. Socially. White is furious upon learning that Globo Gym now belongs to Average Joe's.]. His moment came in the finals by finally catching a dodge-ball and help bring back the two main players in the game, though his chew toy status is retained after his moment was over. You gotta get MEAN! Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? Unfortunately, Goodman learns of their plans and enters his own elite squadron, the Globo Gym Purple Cobras, into the tournament to take home the gold themselves and thwart their heart-warming underdog victory. Your gym isn't worth four. I didn't think that Nazi camp got out until eight. Good luck in the tournament. It doesn't pan out well as they expected. You gotta get angry! [after watching Gordon throw a ball that missed a slowly moving target]. [Patches punches Gordon in the crotch and watches as he collapses]. You're going down, La Fleur! But seriously, I've got 'em. Turns out she's still not a lesbian, though. Average Joe's wins the dodgeball tournament and Peter receives his betting winnings. [Justin raises his hand] Queerbait, go ahead. That's the only way you can play! I just can't get enough of it. Steve the Pirate: Garrr! Determined to crush his rival and build a new parking area for Globo Gym, Goodman hires attorney Kate Veach (Christine Taylor) to initiate a hostile takeover of the gym. White Goodman: Oh, you caught me. He takes the money, but then is inspired to use it to bet on his team to win, using the winnings to buy a controlling share in Globo Gym and steal it right out from under Goodman. [a picture of a 600-pound White Goodman from 14 years ago] That's me. Kate Veatch: You don't get to touch me, ever! Right? Globo Gym Announcer: Tired of the same old you? Cotton McKnight: Average Joe's has a tough job, facing the Lumberjacks. [The scene switches to Peter's dog walking in the living room, revealing Peter sleeping on the couch.]. Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. Deleted scenes also have Gordon asking for a divorce from his unfaithful mail-order bride, and Derek the jackass cheerleader trapped in a full-body cast, cursing Justin out as the latter fills in for him at the cheerleader competition. The gym is mine! But I do it anyway, 'cause it's sterile and I like the taste! But let me hit you with some knowledge. Cotton McKnight: Looks like it's gonna be a two-on-one, a ménage à trois of pain. Pepper Brooks: Ooh, Ouchtown, population you, bro! Peter La Fleur: Nothing. White: You-- You can't do anything to me! As your finishing, lift her by her lifeless hips, and toss her in front of the wheelchair, and proceed to run the bitch over. September 28 at 3:57 PM. Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball. And there's Peter's claim early in the movie that there's someone for everyone, and in some. Tired of being overweight and under-attractive? I'm my own boss! White Goodman: We ARE the Globo Gym Purple Cobras... and we will, we will, rock you! Peter La Fleur: Really? They haven't made it to the court. A great memorable quote from the Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story movie on Quotes.net - Patches O'Houlihan: Sometimes you gotta grab life by the haunches and hump it into submission. In some cases, there's two somebodies for one person. Peter manages to take back Average Joe's by buying most of Globo-Gym's shares. Let's see if it pays off for 'em. But it looks like Peter La Fleur has actually blindfolded himself. White Goodman: Allow me the pleasure of introducing you to Blade... Laser... Blazer... Kate Veatch: Are you reading the dictionary? Unless you're into that sort of thing. You haven't even got cup holders. Peter La Fleur: There's someone out there for everybody. White Goodman: Yes, but it was also a man! You wanna become a cheerleader to prove you are not a loser? That's the only way you can win! Eight years of softball. Which as of last night is Average Joe's Gym! 11 Nov. 2020. I'm White Goodman, Owner, Operator, and Founder of Globo Gym America Corp, and I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be stuck with what you got. Kate Veatch: You're not. I created myself! White Goodman: In some cultures, they only eat vomit. My cousin Ray-Ray, boop. Patches: If you're gonna learn to be true dodgeballers, then you've gotta learn the five D's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!