Mr Big Stuff Song In Movie, The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. As a psychologist for more than twenty-five years I can tell you that I have never had an adult look back at her childhood and complain that her parents were too understanding. Read also – Understanding When You Are Seeking Relationship Support Or Sharing Dirty Laundry. And once conflicts rule, you grow apart. She can stop speaking for days because someone said something about the weather and she' the one who chose the day for an event and therefore it's her fault and she never does anything right. (And, not only by you, if possible?) Our egos are what seem to get in the way of understanding those who we love and care about. Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., is a psychologist and the author of seven books, including 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child. (For anyone who has read my past posts or is interested, Oi Yin has written a number of posts with me about issues related to her pancreatic cancer and her parenting of her children.). However, there are other values that are more necessary than love for a relationship to work. Lack of mutual understanding can lead to an end of a relationship too. I was just curious, I don't know if you even still blog at all, it has been 7 years maybe since this blog, and I was just wondering if your thoughts on love and understanding in relationships are still the same, as you have written in this blog. Is the Media Getting Better at Covering Suicide? Lack of mutual understanding can end a relationship. You don’t need to understand people to love them, but you need to understand them to build a lasting relationship. Is the Media Getting Better at Covering Suicide? I understand that the stance that money is more important is probably to draw in readers, but it’s still wrong. Not that I don't make mistakes, but I do try to listen to them and remember that they must make their own choices based on their needs, just as I wanted respect for my own choices. It is important to understand your partner, there should be a willingness to understand each other. Marriage altogether is a different stage of life be it a arrange or love if understanding fails its end of a that relation. I strongly believe that understanding is more important than love, especially when it comes to parenting and intimate relationships. I work ever day at better understanding the people whom I love. Chris Rock Bring The Pain Youtube, It is not always easy, but healthy love is strengthened by the willingness to understand. Th, Confession: the last couple of days were hard. Love is a feeling that can bring positive energy to a discouraged soul. Unconditional love is derived from mutual understanding and mutual understanding comes from trust. I strongly believe that understanding is more important than love, especially when it comes to parenting and intimate relationships. For a healthy relationship, all you need is not just love, but also understanding, trust, commitment, and respect. I have certainly been quite guilty of this in some of my relationships,” says Dr. Bernstein. These all 4 can make any marriage successful. I'm not sure that people leave for a lack of understanding. We tend not to like those parts of others that we do not understand. “Sharing how you’re feeling from work to romance — outside times of conflict — is a key component to a thriving relationship! Cornet For Sale, Beauty in Bedlam and in my other books, empathy, is truly the emotional glue that holds all close relationships together. Parents help themselves and their children by realizing and understanding their emotional and developmental changes as they grow up. We tend not to like those parts of others that we do not understand. Tania, I sympathize. Second, she especially didn't want a girl and me being the girl of the family means that I anything I do is a girl doing something and it gets discarded because I'm a girl, well a woman now. I understand, but I can only save myself. Feeling Sad During Hard Times Is Not Depression. I Had Church Sex With My Ex After He Left Me Pregnant, Overcoming Toxic Friendships in the Workplace, The Most Cowardly Way to Break Up With Someone: Ghosting, You Don’t Need to Work On Your Relationship, This is why you’re struggling to find love. I love my children and all of my family members. I work every day at better understanding the people whom I love. Countless individuals reflect back on failed marriages or intimate relationships and say, "I guess we just drifted apart." I would rather be respected then. I went to visit after 2 years of her complaining that I hadn't visited her. One day, I realized that there was no way my mom would stop abusing me. If you love and don’t understand, you will have a lot of conflicts — more than normal. Some parents fail to ever really understand their children. 1. And sadly, many parents are never understood by their children. I think love is great. Sometimes understanding means we have to close the door... A Quick Love and Kindness Meditation to Help Feel Better, The Sweetest 3 Words We Long to Hear, but Struggle to Say. Surprising Personality Traits We Desire in Politicians. Dkane Stream, Trust!! Instead what likely happened is that they relied on their love versus understanding to get them through difficult challenges and the passage of time. So, love can get better when the understanding is better. Relationships, no matter how new or old, can be one of the most beautiful experiences of life. “It may sound counterintuitive, as feelings seem to stir things up, but knowing how your partner feels is important, and identifying how you feel is equally vital,” says Genn. Buffalo Sabres Salary Cap Buyout, For disconnected and frustrated parents and children, this may sound like, "I love him but I just don't like him". Which book or books would you suggest that can help a married couple? Often it is our need to be right that makes what others think and feel so wrong for us. Love is important but mutual understanding is necessary for relationships to breathe, sustain, and exists without a timeline. Also, I hope Oi Yin did recover and is at a much better place now :-). If not for love, we wouldn’t have a want to support our … Well adjusted couples work and learn to understand one another's evolving needs as the years go by. Don't get me wrong. Alternatively, couples that bite the dust and divorce typically have suffered a breakdown in understanding, also known as empathy. Generally, much emphasis is laid on love, to fall in love with people who end up loving you, we can only have a good future with a person whom we love or they love us, without love you cannot be in a relationship. The conclusions is for both marriages You are a whole person who is dating another whole person. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.